In May of 2015, I met a Vietnamese girl, Sylvia, from New Jersey, that is now my wife. She was so curious about my ethnicity and background (like how I was brought up). I am jewish because of the ethnicity part, but I don’t have a religion, I’m agnostic. My dad, Alan, is a jewish person both religiously and his ethnicity. My mom, Gina, is an agnostic person with irish and english roots. My mom used to be a Christian growing up. I never learned Hebrew, went to Hebrew School, or had my bar-mitzvah. My cousins, Molly and Ian, had their bar and bat-mitzvahs growing up. I went to both of those. I never have cared that much about my ethnicity or where my ancestors are from originally. Sylvia, my Wife now, made me question these things more deeply. When we first met, I didn’t even really care enough to ask about her Vietnamese or Catholic background. She told me she was Vietnamese and I was like oh that’s cool. Later, I discovered how crazy Sylvia’s upbringing was and how she was fluent in Vietnamese before becoming fluent in English as a child. I showed empathy for how she was treated, both by her parents and people at her school growing up. We met at a Starbucks in Downtown Disney, which is in Anaheim, California. I couldn’t stop listening to her story. She told me all about her upbringing and how she became the person that she is now. I’m the second child in my family and the youngest. Sylvia is the 1st of 3 siblings in her family. Sylvia judges me still to this day because she believes that the first born always has it harder growing up and that I probably benefited from being the youngest. Sylvia is a great older sister to her siblings, Nick and Angela. Her family moved from Roseland, New Jersey to Lavine, Arizona this past year. Now, we can see them more. My sister, Sarah, is 3 years older than me and lives in North Bethesda, Maryland. We rarely see her and barely have a relationship at all anymore. From the Diversity Wheel in this module, Sylvia and I have a lot of differences. For example, I am a white and jewish guy from Los Angeles, California, and Sylvia is an Asian and Vietnamese girl from Roseland, New Jersey. I grew up a lot more wealthy than she did. We don’t really judge each other all that much. In the textbook, Community Development, Chapter 3 is about the feeling of inclusion and belonging. What Sylvia and I have in common is that we are both college students seeking our Undergraduate Degrees. In Chapter 3, it says that psychologists consider the need to fit in and belong is a real human need. I agree with the book. It is definitely hard for anyone to live a good life without a friend group or a place where they feel a sense of belonging. In Chapter 12 of the textbook, Community Development, is about being compassionate for others in the community. Sylvia and I share compassion for each other and that is one of the many reasons why our marriage works.
References:
Community Development in Leisure: Fostering Inclusion And Belonging: Chapter 3:Sharpe, E., & Whyte, C. (2016)
Community Development in Leisure: Compassionate Pedagogy For Reflexive Community Practices: Arai, S.,M., Tepylo, H. (2016)
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